How Will You Cope With Being Left Behind?

That was the essay question posed by NOSHA at our "Left Behind" party in May. You know the day the world was supposed to end? We even awarded prizes for some of the best submissions written that wacky evening.

Here's the winning entry submitted by Betty of New Orleans:

1ST PLACE

How will I cope? What will I do?

In a word: very dry martinis. Wait! That's three words. How irrelevant. But then, when it's all over - everything is irrelevant. So right now, here and now, you want to Laissez Les Bon Temp Roulez!!! Yeah, baby, let the good times roll-l-l-l. (Make those very dry, Bombay Sapphire on the rocks martinis).

But while we're on the subject, why on earth (pun intended) would anyone fear a god they've never seen - much less trust to "beam 'em up, Scottie" to an unknown place, at an unknown time, in an unknown - what- spaceship?

Think about this SERIOUSLY. It makes no sense. It's (more) religious fantasy.

Be good to people, hope they'll be good to you - and - make mine a double, two Cajun olives and three cocktail onions and Sinatra on the CD player. Shit, do you really need anything more?


2ND PLACE
Thomas of New Orleans

Being left behind for a while is like being half-ass in heaven and half-ass in hell. I guess my right behind is in heaven and my left behind is stuck here until the end of days.

So as I see it, my left behind is just behind my right behind on that narrow road to heaven or hell. By being non-committal, I am actually covering my ass pretty well.

Of course, I don't want my left behind to fall behind my right behind too much as it may cause a crack in the fabric of the universe, in the neighborhood of Uranus.

Now, if I want my left behind to join my right behind, I must probably follow the Lord's way and turn the other cheek in order to be chic, worship the Lord more than my Ford, leave my neighbor's ass alone and not kill the valuable time I have left until the end of time.


3RD PLACE
Laura of Slidell

First, I would thank god for finally saving me from his followers. Afterwards, I would do the most heinous acts, since I'm doomed anyway:

Red beans and rice on TUESDAY
Mimosas on THURSDAY
Put tomatoes in gumbo and all sorts of villainy!

I would then grab a group of followers and proclaim myself the NEW messiah and force non-believers to sing karaoke. And, of course, my headquarters would be that nice yellow mansion on St. Charles Ave. I'd probably do some reading and learn to garden....just because. And practice for hell by standing in front of fires in August.

I'm very excited and hope to be in one of the upper circles of hell. The one with the celebrities.

Just What This Town Needs....More Skeptics

Right?

We do a pretty good job here at NOSHA pushing for observation and rational discourse, but goodness knows, we coud do with a touch more. And we'll have it after all of the hinting and hoping we've been doing since Katrina to get a meeting in town "put on" by one of our national organizations.

The end of October 2011, the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry in collaboration with Skeptical Inquiry Magazine and the Center for Inquiry will host CSICon 2011 in New Orleans. CSICon, the conference dedicated to scientific inquiry and critical thinking, should be a huge success and (pun intended) that shouldn't be a mystery. It's a fantastic conference town, the weather should be wonderful and there's plenty to do within walking distance if you skip a session or two (not many cities can really say that.)

So, I'm spreading the word here: (from a recent email blast)

New Orleans, October 27-30, 2011

For more information or to register, visit csiconference.org.

CSIcon 2011 will be held in the heart of the French Quarter of New Orleans. From the vintage architecture to the authentic Cajun/Creole food, there will be something for everyone in The Big Easy. With so much culture, history and entertainment, you’ll find a unique and exciting experience around every corner. Separate history from legend and science from voodoo by joining the Committee for Skeptical Inquiry (CSI) for four days of a skeptically good time full of mystery and reason.

There's plenty to do at CSIcon 2011, incorporating a schedule chock-full of speakers into four days of events. Leaders in their respective fields, from around the globe, will gather to discuss the latest in skepticism, science and news.

The lineup includes:

 Bill Nye • Eugenie C. Scott • James Randi • Indre Viskontas • Phil Plait • Barbara Forrest • Joe Nickell • Rebecca Watson • Steve Novella • Harriet Hall • And many more!